I used to believe that everything happens for a reason. However, after the curveballs life has thrown at me the past few months, I’m not so sure that’s true.
We hear a lot of talk about setting intentions to live more purposely and strategizing goals to keep us working towards something, but what about the times when we don’t get to give something a meaning beforehand?
All the shit that comes up and every obstacle, what do we do with what we don’t plan for? There has to be more purpose than just ‘getting over it’, right?
I struggle with this, I like calendars, planners, and to-do lists. I like preparation and strategy. Learning to roll with life’s punches has been an ongoing challenge for me. (Note: as a PR girl, I am more than capable of handling the chaos and unexpected wrinkles in other people’s lives and businesses – it’s my own personal life I have to start working this into.)
Essentially, if you care about anything, you’re setting yourself up to experience stress and loss. The very fact that we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable, is what allows us to live with purpose. The things that we are afraid to lose are also what give us a reason to keep going.
So often we are drawn towards fleeing in hard moments, attempting to deny reality and reason to ourselves that we cannot survive what life as dealt to us (mentally, emotionally, and/or physically). Those moments of hesitation, of anxiety, of uncertainty mean that we’re alive, that we’re compassionate, that we care about ourselves, the people around us, and our influence.
When we break, we get this really extraordinary opportunity for change and growth. We get to rearrange the pieces in an entirely different way – letting new people into our puzzle or even eliminating unnecessary pieces that aren’t serving us. Breaking and then coming back together can truly be a beautiful process.
Instead of trying to “get over it” or “work through it” make those moments of discomfort, uncertainty, and brokenness part of who you are. Don’t curse the world and cry “why is this happening to me?” hoping that some sign will show up to give you a comforting explanation. Ask yourself “why is this happening to me” with curiosity and exploration.
Whether it’s something difficult like a loss, or something exciting that surprised you, let every experience flow it’s way into your heart. Take it in, process it, connect with it. Give both the ups and the downs the same amount of energy and attention. It’s easy to put all of our energy into the good things, but when we do that, we have none left to cope with and process the difficult. No matter what the situation is, you can breathe through it, you can handle it.
It’s never too late to set an intention. Even after the event, problem, or experience has happen, we still get to decide what we’re going to make from it, how we’re going to grow from it, and how we’re going to live with it and incorporate it into who we are. One of the incredible things about life is that every one of us has the ability to take the ugly things that happen and turn them into something beautiful.
I no longer believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that everything happens for a reason that we get to select.