Humans are peculiar. Half of us love being alone, while others immerse themselves in social gatherings to avoid this feeling. Either way, the only way to defeat and accept loneliness is to find where this feeling stems from. Society, whether on purpose or not, has set up a guideline that is supposed to make us happy and goes along the lines of this: Graduate high school, go to college, get a job, get married and have kids, then retire. I believe life has more to offer than reaching a new level like a video game. We need to fulfill our inner purpose first and follow where that path authentically leads us. We should not go through the motions of doing what you think is expected of you. In doing so, you may always feel alone because the body you are in will not feel like your own.[Tweet “”I believe life has more to offer than reaching a new level like a video game” – @a_barIII”]
Many search for that one person they believe will make them feel less alone when really that person you are searching for is you. To be honest and quite blunt, I feel that half of us feel alone even when we are surrounded by people. For instance, say there is one friend you have that you actually have a hard time being around one on one. Most likely, you make sure you do not get to close with this person and always have others around you when you spend time with this friend. Well the same goes if you do not love yourself. You will surround yourself with other people and make sure to always distract your mind with nonsense things such as your phone or television. The reason being by yourself is prudent for your well-being is so that you can get to know all parts of the self. Get to know your ego, id and superego. There is nothing wrong with being alone no matter what society or yourself tells you.
Find activities that help you re-focus such as writing, hiking, drawing, exercise… The list goes on and on! You can turn any lonely feeling into a positive one by setting the exact moment of yourself in your mind. For example, you are alone in your house and start having a mental conversation in your mind about how lonely you feel. You have the power to turn off the negative thoughts and change the scene. Now close your eyes, imagine you smiling, content and happy right where you are. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely when you change the way you perceive it. This is easier said than done, but when you find that you like yourself, being by yourself doesn’t feel so alone after all.
In fact, exchange the world lonely to solitude and me time. Some of the best ways to fight the feeling of loneliness are to read a book, watch a funny movie, or listen to music while singing and dancing like you are a pop star. Here are even more ideas: call up a friend or relative and see how they are doing, join a gym or take a yoga class, finish work you have been putting off. Get out of the victim mindset and fall in love with being by yourself. When the time comes your “soul mate” or whatever you choose to call your future partner will come to you when you are not looking.
Maybe you are a person who fills the emptiness by keeping your mind and body constantly busy. This is one great way to help you keep moving forward and not feel pity for yourself, but sometimes the best way to fight loneliness is to feel it all and take a moment to rejuvenate the mind, body, and soul. Recently I have felt the effects of loneliness and a very special person I reached out to said, “If you go through the tunnel you will come out better on the other end, but if you go around, you avoided the whole journey.” Maybe you come out of this said tunnel with some bumps, scars, and bruises, but these marks help you remember what you endured to get where you are today. Think of these marks as a physical way to show your wisdom of what to do and not to do again.
You are a survivor and can get through any lonely period of time because you have the most important person with you. The self.
More ways to get comfortable with loneliness
- Read this – Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent
- Turn your focus to developing a new mantra
- Try out manifesting to bridge the gap between what you want and how you feel
- Start a happy journal! Here is the perfect log to get you started.
- Stop. Breathe. Be Grateful.
- Work on healing your life from the inside out (YOU MUST READ THIS)
Get lost in a few good tunes to change your mood
Remind yourself that being uncomfortable is okay, your comfort zone needs eliminated anyway
- Get your butt to yoga.