The Secret to Finding the Confidence You’ve Been Looking For
For my skimmers, here’s what you’ll find in this post: one look + one life lesson. Featuring a convertible dress you can wear 30 ways, learn why you’re experiencing resistance when it comes to finding confidence and what to do about it.
Midi Dress in Dark Amethyst from HipKnoTies ($49.99 – Save 20% with code GemNation20) // Gold Open Bangle from Drew & Co. ($50.77) // Blue Taylor Tassel Crossbody Bucket from 88 Handbags ($45) // Coachella Rose Stainless Steel Watch from Escape Watches ($150) // Similar High Low Skirt from The Real Real ($75) //Nine to Five Ear Jacket Pierced Earrings from Carolee Jewelry ($45) // Aldo Shoes (ON SALE – $45.00)
Raise your hand if you’ve never struggled with confidence.
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
The following phrase seems to keep appearing over and over again in my life in the Facebook Groups I’m a part of and in the conversations I have every day with mind-blowingly brilliant entrepreneurs:
“I need more confidence…”
to launch the thing.
to raise my rates.
to quit my job.
You get it. You know what it’s like. You’ve been there. Perhaps you are there.
How I love to hate you.
Here’s the problem. We’re going about “confidence” all wrong.
It is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.
Let’s say dresses make you feel confident. Well, curating your confidence should be a part of your daily routine. I mean, there’s no way an added dash of confidence couldn’t benefit any given day (note: confidence is not to be confused with arrogance or naivety). Your plan can’t always be to wear the same dress every day because you’d spend an awful lot of time doing laundry or running back and forth to the dry cleaners (depending on how fancy your dress of choice is). You need multiple dresses. You need a dress for when you need confidence to give the presentation, a dress for when you need the confidence to go live on Facebook (I don’t know about you, but video content terrifies me), a dress for when you have to maybe fire a PIA (pain in ass) client (which is terrifying).
These are all very different types of things and by assuming we simply need “confidence” without acknowledging the fact that confidence is variable, versatile, and dynamic, we make it extra challenging on ourselves to curate it. It’s something you have to style… with the clothes you wear, the items on your desk, the wallpaper on your phone, the book on your nightstand, the friends you surround yourself with, and the songs on your playlist.
a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
Can you cultivate that on your own? Absolutely. When we strip confidence down, there are actionable steps we can take to bring more of it into our world.
The first step to improving anything, is awareness. I challenge you to start picking up on the smallest things possible that boost your self-assurance. What friend or acquaintance can you always count on to greet you with a smile? What pants make you feel powerful? What feedback from your community lights you up and makes your passion feel validated? What color nail polish do you feel the most “you” wearing?
There are so many moments around you that tap into your confidence, which you probably aren’t even taking the time to notice.
You have to get creative with how you curate your confidence, which you can practice with one of my favorite confidence centric brands, HipKnoTies (you might remember meeting the Gem behind it, Sarah Yonover recently in this interview)! Sarah isn’t just a clever fashionista, she’s earned her reputation of respect, good taste, and style within the industry working for major brands such as Bergdorf Goodman & Michael Kors.
HipKnoTies is a one of a kind wardrobe necessity that encompasses 30 different easy to style looks in 1 garment. Oh, and it flatters ALL women. How you ask? Because it’s a piece that works with you instead of for you. The control and the creativity are completely in your hands.
You’ve heard of infinity scarfs, right? Like this super cozy number from Aerie? Well, HipKnoTies is an infinity dress. It’s a loop of fabric that comes in three different lengths (the mini, midi, and maxi). For this look, I’ve styled the mini over a flowy high low skirt. The super soft rayon jersey and spandex drapes beautifully to show off your curves in all the right places and it’s not see through like some of the other wraps I’ve tried. This means you can wear it anywhere – from the beach, to events, a wedding, or even in front of thousands of fashion industry insiders at New York Fashion Week!
While HipKnoTies will save you tons of time figuring out what to wear, and it will be your favorite travel companion, this is about so much more than simply a convertible garment. At the heart of Sarah’s mission, is inspiring women to be confident and practice self love through an empowering product that allows you to bring out your creativity no matter where life takes you. Even when your world is a mess, when you feel like you look together, by how you style your confidence, you will feel more together. What you wear can be the one positive thing that allows you to walk out into the world with more confidence even on the days when handling anything seems next to impossible.
The first time I wore a HipKnoTies was to show you how to style a blanket scarf last fall and I just thought having something I could style in my closet that has no limitations was the coolest thing ever – there’s literally no wrong way to wear a HipKnoTies! Sometimes, when we are so used to bounding our confidence, the creativity aspect can be a bit challenging, but there are TONS of video tutorials and even a mobile app to fill you with ideas! Your HipKnoTies is 20% off with code GemNation20!
So, when you’re lacking confidence and you can’t seem to find it, when your routine daily affirmation just isn’t cutting it, ask yourself these 2 questions:
- What is making me feel unconfident?
- What kind of confidence do I need today?
Remember, you really need a confidence bank, or a confidence plan. Different days, situations, confrontations, projects, and even mindsets require different kinds of confidence, so make your confidence convertible. Self-doubt is actually a necessary component of your success. When you take the time to problem solve the source, instead of the symptom, not only do you learn a lot about yourself, but you start to shine brighter than you ever thought possible.